why bother?

•  1st October, 2014, Cornwall. 
• OK, I have to write the PhD dissertation on “developing your creativity and creative confidence” by May 2015. No, that is wrong. I WANT to write the Phd dissertation. Well, I do not feel like writing it today. But otherwise, I have chosen the topic and I have decided to do it. And I will do it. 
• But why? Why bother? Why not read a book? Go for a walk? Take another online course? Make some money? Why bother, Eva, I am asking you? (not quite sure who is speaking). 
• Because I think it will make me happy in a hedonistic way - I believe that there will be moments in the process when I will feel “in the flow”, or as they say in Greek, “meraki”. Also, because it will make me happy, because it is a meaningful project. I believe that I have things to say (not quite yet, but I will, by May 2015), that could inspire others to be more creative and more confident about their creativity. Also because I have invested time and enegy into it already and have committed myself. ​​​
• Ehmm, again, just think about it for a while - those are just sunk costs.You could still give up.  Let me say it again: why bother? It is so much work! So much time! So much money you could make instead, or holidays you could take, books you could read ... And while we are speaking, let me ask another question - why you? What makes you think that you could write something actually useful to others? Who do you think you are? 
• OK, still not sure who is speaking .. but let me tell you. Well, it would take too much time to tell you. So let me start a blog. A blog that will help me write this PhD thesis, that will help me lead a (public) dialogue with you, let's call you my inner critic for the moment ... I know what you will say ...”Why bother starting a blog? So much work!”
• It will stretch me, it will force me to write more often, it might connect me with people with similar interests, who will hopefully be somewhat more supportive than yourself. 
• Are you sure? What if other people will read it and think that it is stupid? Half-baked? Not researched enough? ​
• Sometimes the hardest thing is to start. Sometimes you just have to do it. Here it is. I am posting my first blog on this website. Enter! 

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